A Young Widower's Tale
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Q&A with Widower Occasionally I receive questions from a readers about my past experiences. The following are selected questions I’ve received over the last six to eight weeks I’ve decided to share the following. (Please note that any e-mail I receive remains confidential and will not be published on this site or shared with anyone without the permission of the person who sent the e-mail. However I may decide to reprint a question from an e-mail I receive if it 1) doesn’t jeopardize the sender’s identity and 2) would be of benefit to many who read this site.) Q: Reading your diary I’m amazed how well you were able to move on after the death of your wife and daughter. Looking back, what would you identify as the single most important thing that helped you move on. A: Dating. The more I dated, the more I realized I was ready to start life again with someone else. Q: Does the fact you are a widower cause any major problems in your current marriage? A: Not really. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I do my best to make Marathon Girl feel that she’s the number one person in my life. Occasionally something comes up but most of the major ones were dealt with before we were married. I don’t think either of us would have married each other if it was that big of an issue. Q: Are you still on good terms with your former in-laws? A: Most of them, yes. I haven’t talked to her parents in over three years (to read why, click here.) but everyone else I still stay in touch with. Q: If a recent widow(er) came to you and asked for advice, what would you tell him? A: 1) Life will go on. The quality of that life, however, is up to that person left behind. You can either spend the rest of your days in sadness and grief or enjoy the blessings and people that are left. 2) You will see your spouse again one day. Q: Do you think it’s necessary to remarry or start dating again in order to move on? A: No. Q: I find the fact that you do not visit you’re first wife’s grave occasionally rather extreme. When I read that you don’t visit her grave, it makes me think you don’t love her. I know that’s not the case but could you explain why you don’t feel visiting her grave is necessary. A: I’m not much for commemorating sad anniversaries. Visiting the cemetery brings back memories I’d rather forget. I’m also a firm believer in learning from the past and not dwelling on it. Visiting the cemetery causes me to dwell to much on the past. Q:Where does Marathon Girl get her marathon training schedule? A: halhigdon.com I believe she’s on the Advanced I schedule. However she does her long runs on Saturday and takes Sunday off. You Can Now Purchase Room for Two - 2007-08-31 |
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