A Young Widower's Tale
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Fast running, grieving fathers, and a study Saturday Marathon Girl ran 20 miles in 2:16:31. For those without a running calculator, that comes to about 6:50 per mile! I have no idea how she does it. I ran along side her for five miles before I had to bow out because I couldn’t keep up. We figure if she can run the marathon this fast, she’ll complete it in less than three hours! Here’s hoping she’s able to fend of injury and run the marathon in Texas faster than she’s ever run a marathon before. *** An article in Sunday’s paper about parents who have lost children as infants caught my attention. For the most part the article was interesting as it described the situations of several women who lost infants and how they were dealing with it. Toward the end of the article, one of the women was starting a support group at one of the local hospitals said, "I want to get a program going so no woman has to go through this by herself." Then the thought came to me: What about the fathers? I reread the entire article only to realize that not one of the people in the article was a man. I don’t know if the reporter didn’t bother to interview any men or, if he did, they declined to be interviewed. Perhaps the grieving process is different for men and women. Still, having lost a daughter, I can’t imagine the sadness and sense of loss father’s experience is that much different then what the mother’s feels. I think when it comes to losing children, we have a tendency to overlook the male part of the equation and focus on the mother. But I think losing a child is difficult for both mothers and father. Either way, I think it would have been interesting to hear a father’s perspective and thoughts on the subject. It would have made the article more complete. *** And speaking of grieving, Marathon Girl brought home a health newsletter from work a long with a big boxes of cases to review. An interesting paragraph in the newsletter pointed to a study from the Center for the Advancement of Health titled "Report on Bereavement and Grief Research." The conclusion of the study? "A growing body of evidence indicates that interventions with adults who are not experiencing complicated grief cannot be regarded as beneficial in terms of diminishing grief-related symptoms.” The report adds that there is very little evidence for the effectiveness of interventions like crisis teams that visit family members within hours of a loss, self-help groups that seek to foster friendships, efforts to show the bereaved ways to work through grief and a host of other therapeutic approaches believed to help the bereaved. In fact, the study indicates, grief counseling may sometimes make matters worse for those who lost people they loved, regardless of whether the death was traumatic or occurred after a long illness. Further, the research suggests, bereavement counseling is least needed in the immediate aftermath of a loss. Yet it is then that most grieving people are invited to take part in the offered services. A more appropriate time is 6 to 18 months later, if the person is still suffering intensely. Like I've thought all along, most people are strong enough and more than capable of working through the grieving process without professional help. You Can Now Purchase Room for Two - 2007-08-31 |
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