A Young Widower's Tale
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Three of us now and new feelings There are three of us now. There has been for the last week. And we’re starting to get used to it – but just barely. Today I came home for lunch. Aidan needed a change so I took him back to his crib and changed his diaper while Marathon Girl fixed herself something to eat. I walked back to the living room with him in my arms. Marathon Girl suggested I put a blanket over him to keep him warm. I covered Aidan in a blanket and continued to tell Marathon Girl about work. A minute later I realized that Aidan was suddenly feeling really warm. I lifted up the blanket and realized that I hadn’t put the diaper on tight enough and Aidan had urinated all over my shirt. I won’t be making that mistake again. Welcome to parenthood. *** It’s different being a father this time around. The same feelings are there but there’s a hope and optimism that wasn’t present two and a half years ago. Grief and despair are absent. It’s something I didn’t have the chance to experience last time. Little things like watching Aidan kick his legs or suck his hand makes me incredibly happy. It makes me excited to know I’ll watch him grow and learn to crawl, walk, and talk. There’s a sense of optimism and hope that wasn’t there before. It makes me want to work harder and be a better person so I can be a better dad and a better example for Aidan. This early this morning he was having difficulty sleeping. We finally got him to quiet down about 5 a.m. though he wouldn’t go to sleep. I lay down next to me. My eyes were heavy but I had to open them every few minutes to see if he was asleep. Each time Aidan was staring at me. I couldn’t go back to sleep because I couldn’t get enough of him. I just started back at him until my alarm went off. It’s hard to believe how happy this little tiny person has made Marathon Girl and I. And to think he’s only been with us a week. You Can Now Purchase Room for Two - 2007-08-31 |
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